Visitors and friends are always interested to hear how Companions first come to the Emmaus Community. The reasons are many. Some Companions were ill treated by foster parents or in Children’s’ Homes; many experienced abuse and a life without love, emotional support or opportunity. In adult life unemployment, substance abuse, mental breakdown, mortgage foreclosures, the death of a partner, divorce or separation, can all lead to homelessness.
Not all Companions have suffered in this way and some speak of an apparently favoured childhood, first class education and a successful career.
Jon appears to fall into the last category. His story could be read as a dream scenario with early success in the British theatre followed by years in Hollywood acting with a pantheon of stars including James Cameron and Kate Winslet.
Jon also worked as a film producer and in international film sales, and he helped to steer forty films "from handshake to delivery" in a life of pressure, megabucks, travel and excitement.
But beneath that scenario lies another one of a father who committed suicide, one brother murdered in Lewes prison and a best friend also murdered in London . Jon has a local connection in another brother who is disabled and living on benefits. Jon realises now that he never came to terms with his bereavements in his 20's, and that these and the stress of his highly motivated life contributed to later alcoholism, debt and inevitably divorce.
After a long and acrimonious divorce, he surrended all his assets and custody of his much loved daughter Sam to his ex-wife. His life fell apart in the States, and he decided to return to England, rebuild his life and eventually make a home for his daughter. It wasn’t easy. For a long time he felt in a very sad dark place but even at the worst times he never contemplated suicide as he had promised his daughter he would never do to her what his father had done to him.
Her mother sent Sam uninvited last spring; Jon wasn't ready to provide for her or even himself at that time. After a few months unsuccessfully trying to secure a place for the two of them it was agreed that Sam should return to America until Jon can provide for her.
Jon continued drinking heavily and sofa surfing, until one final, disastrous binge made him realise he had to change, and on Remembrance Day last year Brighton Housing Trust and City Direct referred him to St Patrick’s Night Shelter.
Accommodation at St Pat’s is in dormitories, but after some weeks he moved into one of the ‘pods’, miniature single rooms first designed for inexpensive commuter hotels in Japan. At St Pat’s he had access to the secular and non-secular counsellors who gave him much appreciated help in his struggle to overcome his addiction.
Later, Jon came to Emmaus where he was glad of the structure of Community life and the opportunity to work and to help others.
He says "I know now I can actually do a week’s work again; this has resurrected my pride and self respect. There is a comfortable tolerance among the Companions, respect for each other and silence when you need it. I have my own space, a place where I belong, purpose and companionship.
Sober, I love having my mind back - no longer having part of it shut down.
I’ve dreamed for decades of having time to read and am reading about three books a week! I also joined the local Bridge and Poker Club last year and taught some of the people at St. Pat’s to play “Texas Hold 'em"- one of them told me he has to keep sober because he wants to learn to play better and win."
Emmaus Brighton & Hove, Drove Road, Portslade, East Sussex, BN41 2PA
Tel: 01273 426470
Email: contact@emmausbrighton.co.uk
Emmaus Brighton & Hove is a community of Sussex Emmaus
Sussex Emmaus - Charity: 1053354 Registered Company: 3130876
